The medication didn't work as well today to be honest I'm not sure where the day went. I hate the cold weather. I just wish it would stop snowing. I did complete a bit more in my sketch book but as that doesn't provide an income it isn't the best use of time. I'm trying to think of what inspires me in this life and while I have goals and aspirations I have to wonder what it truly is that would make me happy. I noticed I've cut off a lot of friends recently. I'm just sick of expectations. I feel like everyone's looking for a hand out and most of them have more then me to give. It reminds me of my brief life as a homeless women. the homeless community is a strange one, dangerous but generous among their own...makes you really wonder why we care for things so much. I'm thinking about hopping the rails and just going where ever I end up, Being a nomad of sorts. This life is to cookie cutter to me...sometimes I wonder if I where to leave this identity behind, would I end up in a better place where I could be myself stripped of the guilt, shame and failure. Anyways I guess the side effects today speak for themselves I'm alittle down.
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